Strange Things | Lights, Camera, Action

Lights, Camera, Action

erratic_prophet | 21 November, 2005 22:15

I actually have an honest to goodness excuse for my slacking this time. I was getting everything done on my to-do list before today because I had to go in for some minor surgery and I'd be laid up on the couch, surrounded by dvds and books, for the next few days.

Read on at your own risk. I lack the modesty gene, people.

What kind of surgery? Well, mainly a laparoscopy.

They wanted to take a gander at my insides and see if I had endometriosis. I'd suffered with severely painful cramps for more than half of my life and this year was the year I decided to finally do something about it. (Must be that turning 30 thing.)

The gyno suggested a minor procedure: They'd look around and if they saw any inflammation, they'd cauterize it. Yes, you read that correctly. They'd burn it. They told me that this should cut back on most of the pain. I, of course, nearly bursted into tears-- I was all hormonal at the time-- of joy and quickly agreed to it.

All I had to do beforehand was shave everything. Yes, everything. (I dread the regrowth period. Can you say "itchy"?) And not eat or drink anything after midnight the day of the surgery.

Now, the last time I was told to not eat or drink anything, I spent the whole night dreaming about drinking water and woke up panicked, wondering if I sleepwalked and sleepdrank. I didn't have that problem this time, but I was so damned thirsty!

I was surprised by my own calm going into this thing. I even napped at the hospital before the surgery. I felt safe there and ready to do this thing. Anything would be better than what I'd been going through.

I was put through my paces: the peeing in cups, blood-letting, IV, backless robe, etc. None of that bothered me. Like I said, I napped most of the time. Then it was off to the operating room. I hopped onto the table and I don't remember anything after that. It was all over in an hour or so. I only have a few little cuts. My belly button is the worst one-- where the camera went in-- and it's barely a 1/4" (or 0.635 cms for you metric folks) long.

The pain wasn't even as bad as I'd imagined it would be. It was like bad cramps, but not really bad cramps. The most annoying thing was all of the coughing from a tickle in my throat. That was caused by the tube they shoved down my throat for breathing. They said it should be gone by tomorrow. And, as an added bonus, they told me that they were giving me a shot so I wouldn't get my period for 3 months. Unless I was hallucinating that... I was still drugged up.

Other bonuses: squicking out mom by showing her the belly button scar, showing mom the pictures of my uterus, not having to do anything for several days but watch tv and read, and percocet.

The cons: I look like I'm smuggling half of a basketball under my shirt from the bloat. It's weird. The bloat is more uncomfortable than anything. Oh, and minor bleeding. But I can deal with that.

My mom's taking advantage of this, too. She's been telling everyone that we can't do anything for Thanksgiving because I'm recovering. Gotta love my mom, she's an evil genius.

[Reply]

I want that 3 month needle!
So, did they find anything that may be causing your pain? You make sure you take full advantage of your time off and rest. Enjoy pampering yourself...lots of tv, the trashier the better! Lot's of music and cool magazines, enjoy!

Michelle — 22 Nov 2005, 00:13

[Reply]

Michelle- Yep. Turns out I had (have?) endometriosis. They made three tinier cuts for the burning. The burning is what's supposed to keep the pain away. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.
I'll go to the doctor in two weeks, with the photos, and get all of the gory details.

Erratic Prophet — 22 Nov 2005, 07:32

[Reply]

Well i am so glad they found something...you know what i mean! At least it explains the cramps. Hopefully it's solved the problem.

Happy Turkey Day, enjoy it in peace :)

Michelle — 23 Nov 2005, 21:43

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you're not going to post the photos are you? please say you're not.

j — 24 Nov 2005, 05:23

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Michelle- I hope this works, too!

J- You know you want to see my internal organs..

Erratic Prophet — 24 Nov 2005, 18:18

[Reply]

PHOTOS! Yes! Post photos!

I hope this helps your lady parts feel better, R. And for the hair re-growth extravaganza, may I suggest serious moisturizer?

Rachel — 26 Nov 2005, 17:08

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Rachel- They aren't for the faint of heart, I can tell you that. My insides? Aren't so pretty. Luckily, because of the drugs and pain, I haven't noticed the itchiness of regrowth.

Erratic Prophet — 28 Nov 2005, 17:39